Autograph

Today has been one of the most happiest day of my life as I had the opportunity to meet some of the F1 drivers...I actually intended to go to the Autograph Stage to get Alonso's autograph but I made the wrong judgment (again!) by arriving only 30mins before Alonso's scheduled session started...there were about 500 people lining up in front of me...most of them were hoping to get the Ferraris & Hamilton's autographs which were actually even later than Alonso's session..I should have come straight to the circuit after I woke up...I shouldn't bother spending too much time thinking of what to wear...(I don't have any t-shirts or tops in shades of orange or yellow or aquamarine...although I actually bought some fabrics in those colours a few weeks and I intended to make them into t-shirts that I can wear during this weekend but in the end..I don't have the time for sewing!!)...
I arrived at the V8 Supercars Paddock Club at 1230pm and Alonso was scheduled to be there at 1pm-125pm..only he was only there for 10mins...I couldn't describe how I felt when I first saw him...It was like seeing your biggest crush ever...or maybe the love of your life..aahahhaha...Even though I didn't manage to get his signature, I'm happy to capture a few pictures of him..(thanks to my 300mm lense)...I like this one best!!

Alonso threw his cap when he was about to leave the stage!!He's the only F1 driver who did that!!(I know...I know...my hero is the coolest guy in the paddock)

We had 1hour 30 mins in between the Renault's & McLaren's session for lunch but of course...no one would leave their spots...It wasn't until 4pm++ when the Ferrari drivers arrived... I knew I would definitely get their signatures as I was only about 5meters away from the stage at that time...I had Massa to sign his autograph on my lanyard & Kimi on a paper (ahahahah...just a plain A4 paper)...I managed to get their photos when they were signing the autographs for me..



It was worthwhile after all queuing under the direct sunlight for almost 4 hours...Apart from these guys, I got to see Sutil, Fisichella, Barrichello, Mark, Vettel, Lewis & Heikki...I could have met the STR's & toyota's drivers but I was so tired that I decided to leave...

It was fun listening to other F1 fanatics talking about their experience meeting the drivers...I heard one guy saying that if he couldn't get the autograph today, he would wait at the main entrance or carpark for 18hours...ahahaha..

I also make friend with a good-looking Columbian guy (although his pimple caught my attention most..felt like draining the pus out!!)...he was there all by himself as well, queuing next to me...he asked me if he could get me to take his photo if we managed to get to the stage..(I thought of asking for the same favour from him too!)...he's Alonso & Hamilton's fan...I pitied him as he couldn't get Hamilton's signature..he missed him by 10seconds...(I dont like Hamilton, but I understand how does it feel to almost have your chance)


PS: I will try to accomplish my mission again next yr!!
PSS: I'm convinced that I'm the only person with a headscarf at the circuit today!

Unconditional Love

I woke up this morning(if u call 1145am is morning) thinking of my mom...
Partly because I've been reading other people's blog talking about their parents...
But the main reason is because of my encounter with my dad's cousin yesterday...someone whom I might have met some 20years ago...and never since..
To those who doesn't know, my parents split up when I was 5(I think)... and I haven't seen much of my dad ever since...I wouldn't blame my parents for this but if I were to point a finger, I have to say it's more of my dad's family's fault...nevertheless, I believe what happened was for the best...I thank my mom for never makes us feel inadequate....I couldn't ask for more from her...
And my dad, I know he wasn't himself when everything happened and he still wasn't the complete person he used to be even now...
Since I don't know most of my relatives on my dad's side...and because I know they weren't nice to my mom when my parents were together and god knows what they might have talked behind my mom's back, I felt it was always confronting to be around them...
Yesterday, I was asked by my dad's cousin's wife if my mom remarried? and I tried to be as composed as I can and I answered politely, "No"....she went on saying that she went for a meeting in Terengganu some 4 yrs ago and she was told that my mom is married to a contractor...I was like, what??We weren't even in Terengganu, my mom was the vice principal in MRSM Langkawi at that time...I was mad at how people can made such things up even when it was so untrue...even if she's married, then what?even at 52, she's hot & single...she has every right to get married again....even my dad remarries and last time I checked he has 3 children...
Anyway, the husband then continued giving advice to me about how I should make efforts to go and see my dad...he was surprised when I told him that my sisters went to visit my dad last Eid...I didn't because I was in Melbourne...he even joked, "Who knows, you might be posted to GHKB when you become a doctor and then you can stay with your dad, he lives close to the hospital"...everyone who knows me would know how much I want to be with my mom...certainly I wouldn't be applying to work in KB....(unless my mom works in KB or I'm married to a Kelantanese...which hopefully won't happen)...
I hate it when people try to talk me into seeing my dad more often...some would say, "whatever it is, U should realize that U won't be here because of him" and some would push even further by saying, "U know when U wanna get married, U will need your dad as wali"...Ohh please people, I'm a mature adult...I would know that...even if I haven't seen my dad for years I would want my future husband to seek my dad's approval...I wouldn't marry someone that he disapproves...even though I would want my mom's approval more than his...(no question about my mom's place in my heart compared to his)...
Nonetheless, from the meeting yesterday, I discovered something about myself..I have Afghan blood in me...I was told that my great-grandfather is an Afghan jeweler who had 49 wives(I doubt that!)...as Asma' put it,"that explains your taste for middle-eastern looking guy"....ahahhahaha...
Talking about my mom makes me misses her more but talking about my dad doesn't really make me feel that way...It's not that I don't love him, of course I do...he's my dad...sometimes when I see a diabetic patient, I wonder how he's managing himself, being the headstrong him..(I'm pretty sure talking him into giving up sweet foods is gonna be tough)..I do think of seeing him every time I go home but often, I delay it till I don't have much time left and I end up not going at all..I make sure that it will be one of my to-do-list the next time I'm in Malaysia...
I think I'm gonna call my mom after this to report on what happened yesterday..hopefully I can reach her...It's always hard trying to reach her as we live in MRSM Besut where reception is terrible...I'm always excited when I heard the ringing instead of the monotonous, "this is the voice mailbox for the number...zero-one-nine-two-six-four-five-eight-eight-nine...you can leave your message after the tone"....I hate that voice!!


PS, I love you!

Breaking Bad News

....is part of our clinical skill modules since we were in first yr MBBS...
no matter how many times they teach us and how many tips they gave us...I wonder if it ever gonna be any easier with practice...
I sat with Dr Manolitsas in the consulting room at the Gynaecological Oncology Clinic last wednesday...
Most of the things he did was attending to patients' follow up appointments....there were patients treated for cervical cancer, endometrial cancer, vulval intraepithelial neoplasia as well as ovarian cancer...it was good day that all of the examination findings was found to be normal (apart from tests that had to be sent for pathology)...
until there was a patient who was referred from Ballarat (Ballarat is 2 hours away from where we are)...she came with her husband and daughter...after examining her, Dr Manolitsas also explained to her about the results of her repeat tumour marker test...which in combination tells that her cancer has returned...Dr Manolitsas said that he could organize her to undergo PET scan which would give more information about the spread of her cancer and guide further management(whether she could benefit from surgery)...he also told her that chances are, she might have to resort to chemotherapy anyway which she could otherwise start ASAP even without the PET scan...whichever she chose to do, it's not an emergency...if the cancer has spread, it has already did...waiting for the PET scan in another 10 days would not make any difference compared to starting on chemotherapy now...
she looked composed at first, but I noticed her daughter's eyes are filled with tears...
as she was about to leave the room, I could see that her face was really red and she was on the verge of tears as well...
Dr Manolitsas waited till the door was shut behind them before he turned to me and said, "there will never gonna be a right way to do this..."
I wonder how many times a gynaecological oncologist like Dr Manolitsas had done this and even he, thinks that it wasn't easy...Will I ever be good at this??



ps: I like Dr Manolitsas, he's good looking, tall, fit...he let me did a pap smear!he also quote from my favourite bridgestone ad, "Sure I'm sure" when a patient asked him if he was sure that everything looks normal...


pss: Maybe I should consider pursuing my career in nuclear medicine...apparently there are only three centres that have PET scan in Victoria...I might be able to set up the first PET scan centre in Terengganu...or in the East Coast of Malaysia...(if there hasn't been any yet by the time I became a specialist)

Foods

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about how I can't be bothered spending my time cooking starting from this year as I'm getting busy with clinical placements...-not that I shouldn't be when I was in 3rd yr....
I happened to have pictures of some of the simple meals I cooked during weekdays...which will take around 30mins to make...say hello to laziness!!and career women!ahahha

Dedication

This entry is dedicated to my friend, Syorre who can't seem to figure out who Bulan is...

To Syorre, thanks for the treat the other day!

Paedo

I used to be quite friendly with strangers I met especially if they were older, female and looks normal(no signs of being a psychopath)...by saying friendly I mean I would have conversations with them if they were the ones who greeted me first..(this doesn't include guys who spend time on the street harassing any female passersby)
Ever since my friend told me about her being harassed by a paedophile at a train station, I'm always cautious with friendly old man...
I always came across this old man when I go for grocery shopping in Clayton...I noticed that he likes to approach Muslim girls and have a chat with them whenever he can...there was this one time when he asked us if we are Malaysian and asked if we can speak arabic..I can't remember the exact question he asked about Islam but he totally annoyed us at one point...he didn't sound like someone who is interested in Islam but he's questioning our teaching..He is about 70++y/o...I can't tell what nationality he is as he doesn't sound like a mother-tongue English speaker and I heard him talking to a woman in the bus yesterday in a foreign language..I couldn't tell if it was Spanish or Portuguese or Greek or Italian...
I took the bus on my way from the hospital a week ago and at this one stop, I noticed he was among the passengers hailing the bus...At the sight of him, I quickly put my bag on the seat next to me and looked down pretending that I was busy reading my Obstetrics book...I thought I was successful hiding from him until I reached the next stop when he came asking me to put my bag away as he'd like to have the seat...As if, there aren't any free seats left in the bus...
As I'd expect, he started making conversations...I'm trying my best to ignore him without being rude by answering his questions with minimal number of words..I guess he's the type who just won't get it...he kept on talking about his wife who died of breast cancer and he live by himself and about his son who is a doctor bla-bla-bla....Suddenly he asked me if I was single?(gosh..how inappropriate he can be!!)...I don't wanna sound defensive by saying I'm married or engaged when clearly I don't have a ring so I settled for I'm in a relationship...ahhaha..but I guess it didn't sound convincing and he continued on saying, "U're beautiful" which puts me in a very uncomfortable position...I couldn't stand sitting next to him for any longer so I finally end up stopping one stop earlier...
Yesterday, I had another encounter with him on my way to the hospital...I took the front-most seat which is not as spacious than other seats and then suddenly someone came to sit next to me...I didn't realise it was him initially but I felt weird that someone would cram into a small seat when there were more vacant seats than occupied ones...I took quick glance of a stranger seating next to me and was surprised to see that it was actually him!!I was determined to ignore him and as usual, pretended that I was so into my medical books...I didn't even look around even though I was worried I might I missed my stop...he did try to make conversations with me by asking if I did medicine and if I worked at the hospital..he told me that he noticed that I was reading a medical book...I just answered him half-heartedly and I was lucky that there was another woman that he was having conversations with as well...

Now that I know that particular old man often takes that bus route, I would be even more cautious choosing where to sit...I'd probably just sit next to a woman even if there were many vacant seats...or perhaps, if I encountered him again, I might just excuse myself and sit somewhere else...or just stand up instead...

I've had another pretty similar encounter with a stranger last year when I was in a grocery store at Clayton...I was aware of an Indian guy looking at me for quite sometime and at last, he came to me asking if I'm an Indonesian...I told him "No" & I excused myself...n then he came back to me saying, "Can U teach me Islam?".....which put me in a difficult position...I couldn't deny someone's right to Islam even if I thought he behaved strangely...Not knowing what's the best thing to say I told him that I may not be the best person to teach him but I would be more than happy to refer him to someone more knowledgeable...so I asked for his contact number and my mistake was that I took out my mobile phone and saved his contact details in it...he asked for my mobile number which I dismissed initially but he was quite persistent and I finally gave in as I thought he couldn't do any harm to me by just having my mobile number...n then came the question, "Are you married?","Can U be my best friend?"...at that point, I'm pretty convinced that he is a fraud but I still tried to overcome my prejudice against him...
When I went home, I emailed MUIS (Monash University Islamic Society) president, Adhnan, telling him of what happened and asked him to contact this man...
A few days later, I kept on receiving calls from this guy which I didn't pick up and he finally send me an sms saying, "How are you?"...now that didn't sound like someone who wants to learn about Islam....
I didn't follow up on what happened to him afterwards but I know that Adhnan has arranged for them to meet up...I also found out that he actually lied to me about his real name...

Specialty

As med students, one of the most common questions thrown at us is which specialty that we'd like to pursue..My usual answers would be I haven't decided yet, it's a long way to go, haven't tasted all every areas of medicine yet...
Koyan gave me this link --> http://www.med-ed.virginia.edu/specialties/ which have 130 personality-type questions and they will analyse our answers according to different specialties..
This is what I got:

1-physical med/rehabilitation 41
2-haematology 41
3-colon & rectal surgery 40
4-nuclear med 40
5-plastic surgery 40
6-general surgery 39
7-opthalmology 39
8-infectious disease 39
9-neurosurgery 39
10-rheumatology 38
11-gastroenterology 38
12-endocrinology 38
13-orthopaedic surgery 38
14-obstetrics/gynaecology 38
15-urology 38
16-thoracic surgery 38
17-radiology 37
18-pathology 37
19-otolaryngology 37
20-anaesthesiology 37
21-allergy & immunology 36
22-radiation oncology 36
23-general internal medicine 36
24-pulmonology 36
25-nephrology 36
26-paediatrics 36
27-neurology 36
28-emergency medicine 36
29-dermatology 35
30-occupational med 35
31-aerospace med 35
32-cardiology 35
33-family practice 35
34-med oncology 33
35-preventive med 33
36-psychiatry 32

It's funny how I've never thought of rehab and I always wonder whose gonna be doing haematology..the boring haematology???colorectal surgery??I'm interested in surgery but definitely not of the gastrointestinal tract..I can stand blood but I'm not good with other smelly body fluids & faeces??eeiiyy...and nuclear med??I'm not sure what it is actually..I'm assuming it's those diagnostic scanning like PET scan...never mind, I'll google it later...Among those of the top lists, plastic surgery is the one that I've always thought of doing..or maybe general surg...

at least they got something right...I certainly am not considering psychiatry!!but who knows, I haven't been on that rotation yet..hehehe

Multiple

I haven't been writing for a few days...doesn't feel like writing or shall I say typing?..
Anyway, I'm on mentor week this week in which I have to shadow a senior registrar for this whole week...My mentor is a lady!this is the first time I work with female senior O&G doctor as all of the consultants at Angliss are males..her name is Raji..
Raji let me to sit in a room in the delivery suite throughout her whole shift (830am-5pm)..although I do take almost 1 hr break for lunch & Zuhur prayer...
The patient that I was with came in for induction of labour at 36weeks as she was carrying monochorionic diamniotic twins (the twins are sharing the same placenta but they are in two different amniotic sacs) which means that they have greater chance of miscarriage, pre-term labour, fetal abnormality and intrauterine growth restrictions...
I enjoyed being in the room with the mother as she was very friendly...the father kept on teasing the her saying that he wants her to get pregnant again after this ones, carrying triplets..and he wants them to be identical boys and a girl...the father is a Jew who came from Israel but the wife is not...As I have always been prejudiced with the Jews, I was relieved that we didn't talk about his background apart from how weird his name is spelt as it is Moroccan..
7 hours after the induction, the mother gave birth to Eden & Ariel vaginally...Eden is the first twin with cephalic presentation and Ariel is the second twin who had an assisted delivery as she was breeched...it was a quick labour with both twins less than 10minutes apart...
It was a magical moment as always when they put both twins on the monther's chest with the father looking at the three of them...(for a moment, I forgot that they are jews!..I just hope they will be the nice ones...after all, if the father is a true Zion he wouldn't have left Israel for Australia in the first place..)

This morning, I went to the Maternal-Fetal Medicine clinic which deals with high-risk pregnancies..
One of the patients we had is a woman carrying triplets. Both Raji and me are surprised that they are conceived spontaneously (without IVF)!!two of them are girls and the other one is a boy...the good news is they are trichorionic and triamniotic meaning that they all have their own sacs and placentas..

Having seen two consecutive multiple pregnancies makes me think of how great it is carrying triplets! It would have been a great thing to happen to someone who doesn't have the chance to become pregnant for as long as others (I'm thinking of my fellow meddies)...let's say of you don't want to become pregnant after you're 35 as the risks for both baby and mother is increased, u can just become pregnant twice to have 4 children.. I think single gestation would be ideal for the first pregnancy and then triplets for the second one...and U can have both pregnancies 3-5 years apart...and U can quit your job for a few years and then return to work once you're ready...

If only we can plan these things on a paper and it will happen spontaneously...

but then life won't be life if we knew what's gonna happen in the future..

What personality test says

Tagged by Koyan

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Surprise!

Do u like surprises?hmm...Do I?
I think it very much depends on what sort of surprise...
If someone were to surprise me with anything, they'd better make sure it's something I like or I might find it hard to pretend...n I would feel bad not to like something that other people had put so much effort into it...
Anyway, we can't chose to be surprised...especially if it comes from God..Who has infinite limits in His ability to make surprises...we can give hints to our friends when they want to throw us a surprise birthday party, baby shower etc but not to Him....yes, we can always pray...but we just don't know what lies ahead of us...His surprises can come in any form....


I was assigned to go to the Maternity Support Services this morning...which provide support to pregnant teenagers as well as pregnant women with drug & alcohol problems, or just anyone who really needs support during their pregnancy...

One of my patients is a 25y/o lady who is currently in the 32nd week of her pregnancy...and she found that out 2 weeks ago!!!how's that for a surprise??

What will U do if you found out that you're pregnant and U only have less than 3 months before it became real!!as in real..real...
What if U had everything planned out in your life...or you're about to achieve your dream and the arrival of the baby might change everything?e.g: You're getting married(not with the baby's father) in a few's months' time or weeks'?...You've just been promoted and it took U years before your hard work is recognized by ur superior?...You've been out of job for years & suddenly someone finally take U in?
Or..thinking along the other end of the spectrum...U might be in the worst situation ever...e.g: just got divorced or being dumped?just lose a job & there's no one else supporting u?

I'm not sure if any of these happened or is happening to my patient...but anyway, knowing that u're pregnant when U don't see it coming could be one of the worst surprises ever...
Getting pregnant is an exciting experience if it's planned or if U have all the support from your partner, family & friends..and if u're economically stable...or if you're Muslim and U would be happy to accept that as a gift from Allah...
If U had none of these, it'd surely scare the hell out of U....U might be in denial...not knowing what to do, whom to tell, where to get support??that's when U should call Maternity Support Services at ********(even I myself don't know the contact no.)<-------now I'm promoting our free service....but before that, please make sure U're in Eastern Health area!!


I'm getting off track there...I think I should leave U readers to think of this scenario....if it ever occurred to U or someone U know, your patient, perhaps you would be able to offer some thoughts and help...

As for my patient, at the moment she thinks that she might give her baby up for adoption...we, as her treating team are still hoping that she would still consider keeping the baby but we won't talk her into anything yet as she's very fragile at the moment...we just hope that she'll be in our care for as long as she want...

Scrub in

I meant to post an entry yesterday but I was too tired and went to sleep early as I arrived home at quarter past 8...I even stopped at Aida's house for Asr...Aida's place is just in front of the bus stop..I won't be able to make it if I went straight home...again, lack of judgment on my side...if only I prayed at the hospital rather than walk out of the door as soon as I finished, I wouldn't have to worry about missing my prayer...

Anyway, I enjoyed my OT session yesterday...even though the first two cases weren't really gynae cases...both were superficial skin "cyst"..as Dr John put it,"biji"...(he's a Malaysian too!!and he's the head of the O&G department at the hospital)..only it was located at gynae's territory that the consultant had to do the biopsy...

Dr John was very nice that he let me do the vaginal examination on his patient with high grade cervical lesion..he also taught me to do a speculum examination which he signed off as a pap smear!Yay!!

I felt a bit frustrated when I couldn't get into the theatre for the Caesarean section..the patient was anxious for her surgery as she had a bad experience in her previous Caesar...so when I asked for her permission, she was reluctant to say yes, and I just told her that she can always say no...then, No it is...
It worked out well anyway, as I had one hour to perform Zuhr prayer before the final surgery of the day which is a vaginal hysterectomy...


The best moment of the day is when Dr John threw me the question, "Would you like to scrub in for this surgery?" For sure the answer is yes..I would be crazy to say no...I believe no med student will say no to such an opportunity...never...
Although, I might be one of the few med students who had never scrubbed in when they are already in the 4th yr of their medical education...I should hv plenty of opportunities when I was in 3rd yr if I were to be more proactive...

While Dr John and Annie(the registrar) were busy doing their job down there, I was asked to hold the vaginal retractor in place..(to be honest, it's pretty boring)..Dr John warned me that it's also a tiring job that he even fell asleep once but he also said, it's what every surgeon had to go through before they start doing exciting real-surgeon job..hehehe...
I like Dr John very much..he let Annie do everything while he supervised her...He kept her motivation going by complimenting on her job and he always thanked the nurse for their assistance...

After about 20mins standing on the platform, holding the retractor, dressed in the scrubs and barely moving, I started to feel a bit funny...I tried to stay there for as long as I can and thank God, Dr John suddenly said,"Ok,that's done"...I stepped down from the stool and asked Liz(the nurse) to pull down the mask slightly as I felt it was a bit too tight..probably because she used to see people fainting in theatre she quickly responded by removing the mask from me and asking other nurse to get a glass of juice..even Dr Ranjan(the anaesthetist) was nice that he gave me the stool he was sitting on....Liz asked me if I had breakfast and lunch and I told her I had brunch at 11am(which is almost 7 hours ago)...I guess I was hypoglycaemic after all..I felt a lot better after having a few sips of the orange juice and I decided to join the team back...
I was happy that I had a near-faint episode in a theatre which is full of nice people...I thanked everyone profusely before I left and the nurses responded, "Don't worry, we've all been there!!"....If I became a surgeon in the future, I wish to have a supportive team behind me...which will make theatre an enjoyable environment to work in...

Feverish

I think I've made poor judgment going swimming when I already have sore throat...
I started coughing badly yesterday and becoming febrile this afternoon...
This is really annoying for someone who rarely fall sick like me...
I envy those who gets MCs all the time as I have never had one throughout my life...I usually don't have a valid reason for not going to school...
Fortunately Dr McCallum isn't available for tomorrow as well as Dr Speirs...but still, I have to prepare for my presentation for Dr Lee's tute...please Allah, give me strength...n make Dr Lee nice tomorrow...

Swimming

I had a great fun swimming today....
I didn't count exactly how many laps I did but I think it should fall between 8-10...
Would like to do more but we had to go home early for Maghrib...
If only I had a swimming pool at my own backyard...it would be easier to lose weight!


I found this boy at the changing room crying as his mom is in the toilet...
His older sister tried to cuddle him but she's only a few inches taller than him..I'm afraid she might fall over so I offered to cuddle him...Thank God he stopped crying...(If he didn't, I think I would run away ASAP...before his mom came out of the toilet...certainly don't wanna be responsible for his crying!!)



(I think I should change the blog name...I found myself posting something even when I don't have anything interesting to write)